I have not been thinking about anything profound to share, so I am going to write about my most recent experience that got me feeling so silly and laughing at myself. My husband and I laughed so hard about this it was actually quite unreal how much this situation affected us.
I am still stuck in this learning how to be content season and man it gets harder each day. It’s almost as if I need to fight for it, but luckily for me, though I complain a lot about discomfort, I am just built to carry it through. That is just who I am, once I commit to wanting something, it might take longer than expected, but I do not quit. More like this contentment journey, I have decided to be here, so I have made this my fight.
Anyway, it was my husband’s birthday this last Monday, so for a while now I have been asking him what he wants to do, because somehow I managed to put pressure on myself to make my spouse’s birthday so special that people will be tweeting about how great I am as a wife.. Why? Well because apparently that’s what needs to happen, have you not checked out Facebook and Instagram lately? I started asking around for birthday present ideas and although we are so broke right now, we had saved up some money but I decided a birthday is worth celebrating so I am going to blow it on this awesome husband of mine. More than that though, I wanted to have great answers to the inevitable question? “What did you do for your spouse’s birthday?” I couldn’t possibly give an answer like “nothing”, imagine!
So I kept asking and he decided he wants a braai with his friends every year for his birthday, even when he has money, he just wants a bigger braai, but he wants his favourite things for his day, meat and the people he loves. I know never to throw him anything fancy because that is not who Torch is, my hippy soul mate. Even though I know this about my husband, I still insisted on creating a day that will produce good answers for those who will ask, so I decided to take him out that day, one of his favourite things to do is to watch movies, so I decided we’ll go watch two movies, have good lunch at a fancy restaurant then come back home for an even nicer married people surprise. I had it all figured out.
As the day progressed, it felt like I was really forcing issues with the day’s events, we watched one movie then decided to have lunch, walked into some good restaurant when I decided all I wanted were Chicken Licken hot wings (which I had been craving for days) and Torchy really didn’t care, he just wanted meat, to hire a movie and cuddle as we watch at home (no surprise). I almost gave in and did what we ACTUALLY wanted to do, but I thought about that question, people are going to ask, I cannot give them THAT answer. So I insisted we sit down and enjoy lunch like normal people, we then got cake, walked home and spent the evening with some of our favourite people, after they left the last part of my planned day got ticked off, and there it was ladies and gentlemen, the perfect birthday I had planned, bingo! We had spent most of our money and though I could give a good answer, I really felt robbed; we didn’t do what we REALLY wanted.
The next day we were taking a walk when we found ourselves talking about how the previous day’s events really didn’t fulfil us, we started talking about why we insisted on the day we had and we were so mad at ourselves for having spent that much money on things we didn’t really want, just so we could give a better answer than “nothing”. I felt so stupid, so we decided to take what was left of our money and re-create Torchy’s birthday. We got two movies, some hot wings for me and some good meat for Torchy (well it was raw, I just made it real good*smiles*). We came home, sat on our couch and enjoyed the day the way we wanted to. As he was devouring his food, I remember him saying “best birthday ever”. I couldn’t agree more, hot wings for me, some good movies and my husband next to me was more than enough, we both got what we really wanted.
We will be having a braai for him with the people close to his heart and that is okay, but what we vowed is to never allow external pressure to let us deny ourselves things we really want, no matter how simple or stupid our desires may seem.
One thing I love about my husband is what a simple man he is, and I regret taking that away from him for the day, it was not even a fancy day, but he wanted it simpler, and from now on, if he wants to just sit and watch soccer with me on his birthday, that’s exactly what I’ll give him.
Nevertheless, we had a good laugh! This contentment thing is real, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
What I also learned is that, I really love my husband, every day; I just love him more, because even in such silly moments, I find myself falling deeper in love with him, sometimes he is the only evidence I need to remind me that this God really exists.
Happy belated best birthday ever my angel!